Sometimes saying NO is very important

(Publicación disponible en español)

How a “fold” in 5toFold can lead to a conscious project.

In September 2008 I was lucky to become a Trainer of the Genuine Contact Program. And I also had the opportunity to be present at my first conscious decision-making session. I had never been in a circle in which EVERYONE’s voice was taken into consideration, even though the decision was made by those who were responsible for the program at that time, the voices of everyone present were considered important.

This experience invited me to dream in what I consider to be my vision of the world. A conscious world, a world in which all decisions are made in a very deliberate, studied way, where the whole person and all the people who have a genuine interest in participating are taken into account. A world in which saying NO is simply an opportunity. It gave me and continues to give me a feeling of joy and optimism because it is possible!

I was reminded of all the moments in which I had been in meetings in which organizational decisions were made hastyly, in which always, always… someone left the meeting angry, frustrated because they felt they were treated unfairly, because they were not listened to, because their opinion did not count. And even in our family environment this happens. Someone with “power” makes the decision and that’s it.

This process that I felt was deep, powerful and forceful is called 5toFold, a name that leads us to think about our hand and everything we can express through it, from a caress to a blow. And in 5toFold it is presented as an opportunity, from a five that informs us of a commitment to a decision being made as well as the leadership that is assumed in the execution of the decision made. Then, going through a four, a three, a two, a one (representing different levels of commitment and agreement), until you reach a fold that can stop the approval of the project. And this fold seems so powerful to me, because I blieve that sometimes saying NO is important.

When we think that the decision being made is for the best good of the organization (whatever it may be, from a family to a public organization or a large company) then a fold may represent the need to stop and reflect a little more. I believe that the person who folds has a great responsibility. First of all, he or she is considering something that the rest of the group may not have seen up to that point. Second, she or he takes the lead and the courage to voice it, knowing that it may be blocking a proposal. Ultimately, he or she is part of the solution. And that is what I consider so valuable about this process. A fold is nothing more than that… the opportunity to show something that has not been seen, that may harm the organization or a part of it, and the possibility of revising the proposal to take it into account, to readjust it, or to abort it if necessary.

How powerful!

In October of this year I had the opportunity to teach 5toFold to a group of women in different fields of work, but all with extensive experience in various types of organizations. Their impressions were that when a proposal is submitted for consideration by all parties with 5toFold, something wonderful happens, all voices are heard, everyone has had a say, and if something is off and people are consciously there for the good of the organization, this will also redound to your personal benefit.

But there is something else… it is important to go slow to go fast. This is not a job that can be done in haste. Each step is uniquely important.

In addition to being part of a circle and teaching 5toFold, I have had the opportunity to facilitate the process and also promote a proposal that was initially blocked and later, thanks to people who disagreed with part of it, was able to be revised, reproposed, approved and also launched.

So yes… sometimes saying NO is very important.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay